Skip to Page Content
Top Groups:
Politics
U.S. Politics
Technology
International News
Entertainment
U.S. News
US Presidential Elec...
(more ยป)
Post Details
-
The Night Tara Reid Threatened To Hurt Us
''I'm the wrong person to fuck with,'' Tara Reid screamed at us Wednesday night. We need to apologize to the future Oscar winner. Tara, we're too hard on you. Every other website out there applauds your work and stunning looks. Perez gives you shit. And you don't deserve that. You've done nothing to warrant our non-appreciation of your tremendous skills and feminine beauty. You're a scrapper. We like that! Perez, on the other hand, is a pussy, and he likes to avoid confrontation at all costs....unless provoked. Then his ghetto Cuban faggity ass will let you have it. And that's exactly what happened last night! We were playing Dave Navarro Wednesday evening, escorting our friend Jenna Jameson around town. We went to a book launch for the lovely Dita Von Teese and the 10th anniversary party for BPM magazine, finally ending up at the birthday celebration of this lovely fellow named Eugenio. We were there to meet Miz Paris, who had invited Jenna and Perez, and as soon as we walked in to the palatial mansion in the Hills, Tara Terror Alert began. Paris, Nicky, Scott Storch, Aunt Kyle, Caroline D'Amore, and Kim Kardashian were hanging out on one side of the room and Tara and her crew were hanging out in another, making ''frequent trips to the bathroom.'' Reid's eyes jumped out of her head when she saw Perez and she darted directly towards him. ''Perez?'' she asked. We nodded. ''Tara Reid,'' she said. We wanted to compliment her in some way - one of our tricks - so the best we could come up with was ''We love your sister, Colleen.'' We tried. ''That's nice. Stop talking shit about me,'' she barked. ''It's not even about you,'' we said. ''We have never even met you. It's the concept of you.'' And we were trying to pull a couple of other excuses out of our gaping asshole. ''Well, there's a real me here. Stop writing about me,'' she commanded. ''Uhmmm, don't read our website,'' we told her. ''Stop talking about me!'' ''Don't read the website!!!'' This very mature conversation - literally repeating the same lines - went on for a few minutes. Even Reid's friends were horrified by her HOrrific behavior. ''Tara, honey, don't do this at your friends birthday party,'' one of her gays told her. Hey, we dish it out. We can take it! Paris and Jenna stood nearby in an uncomfortable silence. Hoping to make some peace for the evening, Perez said, ''I'll try to not write about you for a while.'' But that was not good enough for Tara. Her inner Jersey guida came out and she threatened to throw us in the pool and then tried to get the birthday boy to kick us out of his party, even though it was HER that provoked a fight. Security came to escort us out of the party, and Paris had to intervene - speaking to Eugenio - to convince him to let Pepperez stay. Paris = a hot commodity. Tara = not so much. We were forced to have another conversation with Tara. ''Don't write about me, anymore,'' she demanded. Who the fuck is this delusional bitch to order us around? Ughh. We just wanna enjoy ourselves tonight!. ''Fine, you're dead to me!,'' Perez shot back. ''I won't write about you ever again. You don't exist in my world.'' Oops, we lied! That wasn't exactly the answer Tara was probably hoping for, but it was enough for her friends to drag her away and let us have a good time with our ladies. Dear Tara Reid, we're sorry. It must be sad being you. We don't mean to make your life any more pathetic than it already is. For that, we apologize. xoxo Perez Nicky Hilton & Scott Storch. Jenna, Perez & Dita. [Perez's scarf and necklace available @ Top Shop (London), shirt @ American Apparel and pants @ Ben Sherman.]
- Saved By: Perez Hilton
- Tags: avril lavigne , celebrity feuds , dj a m , drugs , exclusives , hilary duff , jenna jameson , joel madden , nicky hilton , paris hilton , party popping , personally perez , and tara reid
- Group: (none)
post comments
[Add Comment]
Copyright ©2008 Searchles, Inc. All Rights Reserved